


Under a Mackerel Sky

by psiten



Series: Fifteen Mokona on a Dead Man's Chest [8]
Category: Angelic Layer, xxxHoLic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Ninjas, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Cameo References from Cardcaptor Sakura, Cameo References from X/1999, Case Fic, Cooking Lessons, Domesticity, Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Meeting the Relatives, Minor Presence of Jounouchi Sai/Saitou Kaede, Pirates vs Ninjas, Sailing, Smut, Untrue Rumors About Monou Fuuma/Sakurazuka Seishirou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 07:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14807120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psiten/pseuds/psiten
Summary: Anchors a-weigh! Guess who's crossing the lines this time, sailing into the frozen Northern seas? But if there's one thing you don't say to the boss -- when the boss is Yuuko -- it's "No."Not that Watanuki would listen to any of that. "Are youinsane?!Me, cooped up with a bevy ofpiratesfor heavens know how long?! We'll be at each others' throats! I will not be held responsible!"("Fifteen Mokona on a Dead Man's Chest" is comprised of stand-alone short stories that can be read independently, without going back for earlier installments. As the stories go on, however, they will consistently tie together for those who prefer to startat the beginning.)





	Under a Mackerel Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Beltenebra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beltenebra/gifts).



     "Does everything look right?" Himawari asked, her sun-bright smile filling the dim corners of the Clover bar and the harried cockles of Watanuki's heart.

     "Almost, Himawari-chan! Just one more crate to check!"

     Picking up Yuuko's periodic alcohol orders was hardly a treat, but the fact that she placed those orders at an establishment with the most lovely and wonderful barmaid in the entire world mollified him at least somewhat.

     He would still have to pay _very_ close attention to this stock, however, because the entire second-to-last crate he had to examine had been full -- _completely full_ \-- of industrial size bottles of Backafallsbyn Gin, distilled by some reclusive order of monks on some glacier near the North Pole, and no doubt priced higher than was sensible even if it _was_ the very best, when buying that much gin was absolutely absurd unless you were planning to serve it at the largest gin-tasting the city of Hundhammeren had ever known. The aromatics of a good gin would be ruined if it was left longer than was ideal, especially if an opened bottle was left unfinished!

     Then again, even bottles this size were unlikely to go unfinished when Yuuko was drinking. He mentally added, "Take the spare cocktail shakers out of storage," to his list of tasks for the afternoon, as he saw the preparation of a great many martinis in his future, given the amount of vermouth in one of the other boxes, and vermouth was downright _perishable_!

     However, he had to count this last crate to be sure everything was in order, then get to his duties without another moment's delay. His scurrilous scalliwag of a paramour was pulling into port later today, and dinner _would_ be on the table by seven, come Hell or high water (including literal high water, given that the man was a pirate, and pirates, among their other flaws, always came on boats).

     Ten sapphire-blue bottles of vodka, six of something in black bottles that appeared to be distilled from walnuts somehow, fifteen of coffee liqueur, exactly two bottles each of peppermint schnapps, peach schapps, and Goldschlager, and the last sixteen were brown bottles that contained...

     His eyes went wide and his throat caught in a knot as he read the label. His manifest had only said, "bourbon," but this?!

     "Is this... Weller's Ancient Bourbon?" he asked, despite the dry creak of his throat.

     Even Himawari's smile couldn't heal him now. "Yep!" she answered. "Oruha-san was able to find a new supplier in Kia -- and here I thought she already knew all the best people!"

     "Of course she does. Mistress Yuuko wouldn't offer her custom to anyone else," he murmured, too dumbstruck to inflect his sentences as usual. Unless he was mistaken, and he was never mistaken, not once, this was the very kind of bourbon Doumeki had said he'd found in a shipwreck once and considered the finest wheated bourbon he'd had the opportunity to drink. Taking a deep breath, Watanuki winced and asked, "Do you have... any more?"

     "Well, sure! I think there are a couple left from the case. Did Lady Yuuko not get as much as she wanted?"

     "No... I mean, yes, she got as much as she intended. This is for... for..."

     He tried to get the name, "Doumeki," past the lump in his throat, but it just wouldn't go. When he had just as little luck with the words, "my significant other," he settled for shaping one of his hands like a hook, and waving the other from his head as if it were a feather on a hat.

     "Oh, that's so sweet of you!" Himawari cooed, pulling another bottle from under the bar. "You two are such a cute couple! I just love telling people how you met right here!"

     This 'officially dating' thing was going to take some getting used to. Watanuki laughed weakly. "That's... that's great. Ha ha ha. So, how much do I owe you?"

     "Well, that would would normally be about eighteen gold--"

     Watanuki could feel his lungs crumbling to dust as he put away his everyday money purse.

     "But since this is with Yuuko's bulk order, I think we can give you the discount! That's just fifteen gold and three silver," she said with a wink.

     "Ah. Ha!" Watanuki coughed and straightened his smile on his face. "Yes, that... that seems very reasonable." Then he pulled sixteen gold coins out of his rainy day stash, since he _had_ the money (and a bit more). It wasn't as if Yuuko didn't pay him enough in actual currency to put a bit away. This was just a bit more than he was used to paying for anything that wasn't his monthly rent. At least the day when Doumeki would say they'd started dating was a little over two months away, so this couldn't be mistaken for something as ludicrously sentimental as an anniversary gift.

     "Did you want anything else?" Himawari asked.

     "No, I think I have everything," he said as he slipped his bottle into a particularly secure pocket of folded space inside his jacket. "Except possibly a token to remember your beautiful smile, so it can sustain me through the rest of my workday!"

     Dropping the sixteen gold pieces into the till, Himawari giggled -- a sound like angels could only dream of making! "Oh, just like a knight in shining armor! I don't really have anything on me, though... but here's your change!"

     Seven silver coins clinked into his hand, and he stuffed the liquor pallet into the compressed space inside the little red wagon Yuuko had loaned him to haul it back (obviously, it wouldn't be feasible to get something that large through the halls of the castle), floating out the door as if he were walking on clouds the way he always did when he got to talk to Himawari. And he had seven whole coins to add to his collection of change he'd gotten from her! Looking more closely at these, however, there was one coin in the set that didn't look like anything from the area. It had the number two on it. Two _what_ , he couldn't say. Based on the embossed owl and the script the writing was in, he'd guess the pirate nation of Eunos had minted it. Pirates! Again! It was lucky he'd been there to take the coin in exchange for perfectly good money, or else Himawari's place of business might have been cheated out of some of its earnings!

     Good for nothing, boat-sailing thieves, always making trouble. Now, he just had to take these things to Mistress Yuuko, get his next assignment, and adjust the dinner menu he'd planned out so it'd be a more appropriate complement to this absurdly expensive alcohol that his own Pirate Captain Doumeki had damn well better appreciate!

~//~

     Doumeki wasn't going to lie, shore leave was always a good time, but walking into an honest to goodness home with the scent of food in the air and someone to scold him about taking off his boots at the door was a luxury most pirates never got. He never intended to give it up. As usual, he kicked the door shut before stripping off the heavy leather boots that would never see past the front hall of Watanuki's apartment, let alone the kitchen, and as usual, Watanuki pulled off his feathered hat to drop it on the furthest hanger of the hat rack.

     As usual, that not-quite-accidentally put his ninja lover -- sorry, "popcorn vendor" -- in kissing range, which he wasn't fool enough to pass up.

     Watanuki tasted faintly of beef stock, probably from taste-testing whatever he was cooking. "No respect!" the man huffed between bites on Doumeki's lip. The unthinking moan when his lover's back hit the wall gave the lie to his complaints just as much as the fingers in Doumeki's beltloops pulling him closer. "The time it takes to... mmph, to wipe your muddy footprints off that door...!" Not that his hands, now reaching for a grip on Doumeki's ass, were taking a break to clean.

     His lover stayed good and busy until the hook cuff over Doumeki's hand caught in Watanuki's collar. After that, pressing into Watanuki's body was more like crashing into a cliff than plowing a ship through the tides.

     A pointed finger broke the space between their noses and one of Watanuki's eyebrows arched high. "Remove the hook, _please_." The 'please', Doumeki could hear, was rhetorical. That wasn't a request. "You could put an eye out with that thing!"

     Sex was more convenient when he could use both hands anyway. He unbuckled the cuff, like he'd always planned to do, and used his newly freed grip to hoist Watanuki's thighs high enough to wrap around his waist. "Better?" he growled against lips doing their best to shut him up.

     "Mhm. Much."

     No doubt, shore leave didn't get better than thrusting an unruly lover against a wall while tearing open the man's shirt, which he could do now, thanks to Watanuki switching to tops that laced in the front instead of having clasps hidden fuck knew where. The whimpering moans Watanuki made when Doumeki's teeth grazed his neck were like music, and the traces of fingernails digging into Doumeki's back were absolutely a preview of how he'd be spending his night. The scratches had healed from when they ran into each other two weeks ago. Getting a few more had been his top priority when he'd pulled into port.

     The alarm that went off on the oven had different ideas, clearly.

     Watanuki's forehead landed on his, a half-cried complaint of a moan shaking his body. "All right, unhand me, you wanton brute. If I don't baste the roast, we'll be eating dry beef for supper, and I simply won't have it."

     "I won't get between you and your kitchen," Doumeki said, putting Watanuki down.

     "Perhaps the most sensible decision I've known you to make!"

     There'd be a whole night for sex later. He hung his shirt on the coat rack (contrary to everything Watanuki said, he wasn't a savage), then followed his ninja down the hallway. The scent of meat and potatoes cooking with a savory mix of herbs smelled better than any incense, and an ass like Watanuki's wasn't a sight most men were lucky enough to see. Not just his ass, either. Doumeki could spend a whole day leaning against a counter, watching Watanuki in a prim apron, pretending he didn't notice that Doumeki was watching him cook. Not all of the red in his boyfriend's cheeks was from the heat of the oven -- that, he could say for sure.

     "Smells good."

     "Hmph! As it should! Now if you wouldn't mind averting your scoundrelly, piercing eyes, a watched cook never finishes dinner! In fact, as long as you _insist_ on displaying that... that... _unnecessarily brawny_ bronzed torso of yours, I must insist that you remove yourself from the stove area entirely."

     Damn, that man was cute when he scowled.

     The scowl got deeper as Watanuki checked a pot of boiling stock. "Wipe that smirk off your face. Stoves are hot, hot things burn, and you are _useless_ to me if you're injured. Scoot!"

     Doumeki kept his smirk right where it was, and left a kiss on Watanuki's kerchief (which got swatted away) as he _scooted_ toward the kitchen table. His boyfriend had a lot of cute ways to not say he got embarrassed at being admired.

     The crinkle of foil and the slurp of the baster were no match for Watanuki muttering, "I will never understand what about being cooped up on a ship makes you pirates so lascivious," as if he hadn't been part and party to them nearly heaving to on the front mat again.

     "That's pretty much it," Doumeki said over his shoulder. "Anybody packed on a boat for weeks at a time tends to get a little--"

     "Poppycock! I have been deprived of sex for exactly as long as you have, and you don't see _me_ making a fuss!"

     That wasn't an argument Doumeki was going to start, especially not when Watanuki was in the middle of cooking, and even more so when the headline on the tabloid folded open on Watanuki's table looked like it had his name in it.

     Picking up the paper, he checked the date and the byline, just to make sure this wasn't a prank. It sure looked real. "' _Deadeye Doumeki is a Lucky Bastard_ '," he read aloud. Watanuki shot to attention, straight as a post, and got his roast back in the oven at lightning speed. Somebody hadn't realized he'd left this out, clearly. Watanuki ran over and tried to grab it out of his hands, but Doumeki managed to hang on. His ninja boyfriend must not've been trying too hard. "Since when do you buy the _Daily Picaroon_? Isn't it too piratey for you?"

     "That is _opposition research_!" Sticking his nose in the air, Watanuki pretended owning anything a pirate-made, let alone the Takifugu Fleet's gossip rag, was no big deal, which was nothing but bilge water and the man himself knew it. "Besides, I had to make certain your Admiral kept his word about correcting my _rating_ in your filthy _pirate sex ledger_. And I was pleasantly surprised to find he did!"

     "No shit," Doumeki scoffed, reading the article under the headline. "' _Last week, a surprise declaration from Admiral Shirou Kamui that Doumeki Shizuka's mysterious lover was officially an eight, not a seven, put the captain of the Queen Cassandra back in the race to claim the year's best sex life--_ '"

     Watanuki's head whipped back around, eyes wide and jaw heading straight for the floor. "You can't honestly need to read their... their _salacious commentary_ on why we're back in the lead! _Where we belong_ I might add!"

     "I came straight in from the docks," Doumeki said, settling down in a chair. "I haven't read this issue. Huh. So they sent someone to talk to Lord Shirou face to face. Must've took some guts."

     "And now you're offering _commentary on their commentary_?! Have you no shame whatsoever?!"

     No need to respond to that. To be honest, Doumeki was considering mounting the article on his wall. The next line, he read out loud. "' _Death Shirou answered, "_ How the fuck should I know why he got lowballed? Maybe the lighting was bad! _" But he remained tight-lipped about who exactly this handsome stranger is,_ '"

     His boyfriend was turning redder by the second, and not in a way that said he minded being called a 'handsome stranger'. Although if Watanuki's name wasn't down in print, somebody had to be pulling some strings in the _Picaroon_ 's editor's office. His _name_ wasn't the thing that was secret.

     Watanuki's moment of embarrassed preening was over all too soon, alas. He jumped up to rummage for shot glasses in the cupboard. Nervous, no doubt. Well, after this, Doumeki would do what he could to keep mention of Watanuki, anonymous or otherwise, out of the papers. A ninja who pretended to sell popcorn for a living wasn't someone who wanted publicity.

     This one was still a good article, though."' _When pressed, Shirou added, "_ You're lucky Fuuma says I can't kill any goddamn reporters, because I'm about two inches from blowing your fucking head off. _"_ '. Yeah, that sounds like the Admiral. Oh. Hmm. Their theory for why Lord Shirou ran off for a week was he must've caught Prince Fuuma going down on the Barrows-guard. Damn. I bet money they'd do a Princess Kotori rumor this time. But I guess Sakurazuka's name sells papers."

     "You pirates and your Lords of Darkness!" Watanuki tutted, then turned on Doumeki with a gasp. "Wait. Are you implying that this newspaper of yours is printing salacious rumors they _made up_?! Do they have no journalistic integrity?!"

     "It's a tabloid."

     "But surely the rumors must be _based_ on something!"

     Doumeki turned the page with a shrug to some tall tale about a man over in Oro, on the far side of the western continent, sprouting wings, falling into a coma, and not waking up until the moon started waxing full again. Nobody believed this stuff, but it made for a good yarn.

     Watanuki narrowed his eyes as he plunked the shot glasses down on the table. "Do not _shrug_ at me, you lout! I refuse to believe that any newspaper would--!"

     A quick yank on his lover's apron brought his head down to where Doumeki could kiss him for a few seconds of heady silence. Not that he didn't like to hear Watanuki talk, but sometimes it was fun to shut him up, too.

     The ninja, true to his profession, managed to get himself all the way to straddling Doumeki's lap without breaking off the kiss, and only when he was good and settled did he pull his face far enough back to glare. " _That_ was rude," he said. "You have _completely_ made me forget what I was planning to say."

     "You were saying Prince Fuuma might be banging the Barrows-guard without anybody knowing about it."

     "Well, how _would_ you know what goes on in people's private chambers?! Unless you're spying on them...!"

     "Same way the whole fleet knows you and I shacked up." Sakurazuka hadn't claimed any sex points for as long as Doumeki could remember. That man looked at other people like they were nothing more than ashtrays, so he couldn't say he was surprised.

     Even from two inches away and draped on his lap, Watanuki still managed to point an accusing finger. "They could be hiding it! You're not there! You're on _your boat_!"

     "Ship," Doumeki reminded him, smiling at how Watanuki rolled his eyes. "And as long as the world's still in one piece, Sakurazuka hasn't bedded the Prince, because he's a jackass who'd tell Lord Shirou all about it just to see the look on his face. And you've met Lord Shirou."

     "He does tend to break things," Watanuki admitted.

     That was an understatement. But either way, Doumeki could tell it wasn't what was really on Watanuki's mind. When his lover was sitting this close, it was easy to tell if he was fussing, or if he was suffering something. The man's body was just a bit more tense than usual, like a fiddle tuned too sharp, it's strings stretched and crying and ready to break. "So what's up? You never talk scuttlebutt."

     The way Watanuki tried to act innocent when he got called out was even more of a sign, especially because he gave up trying a second later. Mouth scrunched toward his nose, eyes screwed shut. Probably didn't want to say he had another business trip coming. A long one, if Doumeki had to bet. Well, Watanuki handled him living a pirate's life, on the sea more weeks than not. That'd go both ways.

     Watanuki words slowed, almost to normal conversational speed. "Mistress Yuuko asked me to go somewhere off the Karafuto Strait. North of Nihon."

     Yep. Business trip. Nihon was a good month's hike over land, and there weren't many good roads through the ice and snow up north. The Dimension Witch wouldn't be foolish enough to try to hire a ship to sail past the Strait. Everyone knew those were hunting waters.

     Watanuki seemed to be choking on the next words, but he took a deep breath, and forced them out. "And... she said only _one_ ship that makes port in Hundhammeren that would dare sail there, but that... luckily... I..."

     Luckily? As in, he was sailing after all? But only a pirate ship would--

     Only a pirate ship. "She wants me to sail you there?"

     As Watanuki made a face like he'd just bit on three hundred lemons, Doumeki's eyes widened. Well shit.

     It was true, the _Queen Cassandra_ could sail any northern waters without getting boarded. He was one of the pirates that other captains were afraid of. Those waters were his waters, and his ship had the size and the guns to go toe to toe with any of the smugglers and fighters loaded for bear who were willing to risk the Strait for a prize. But he'd never thought he'd get Watanuki on board, and certainly never thought it'd be at the Dimension Witch's request. Doumeki tried not to laugh out loud when Watanuki was being so serious.

     Jumping up so he didn't have to look Doumeki in the eye, Watanuki started pacing around the table. "Clearly it's too much of an imposition. Ridiculous! The very thought of it!"

     "I'll take you."

     "So I'll just tell her it's imposs..." Watanuki froze mid-arm flap and looked back over his shoulder, horrified. "I beg your pardon, did you just _agree_?!"

     "Yeah." Given the danger, Watanuki's boss would pay a king's ransom because the Witch not paying for a favor was like the sun not burning, but to be frank, he didn't need it. He'd bring Watanuki on board just because, on the _Queen Cassandra_ , he'd be able to make sure those goddamn northern hell waters didn't kill him, which he'd consider a fair wage on its own. The crew would appreciate the reward at least, though they were the type who loved an adventure more than gold.

     Not that Watanuki would listen to any of that. "Are you _insane_?! _Me_ , cooped up with a bevy of _pirates_ for heavens know how long?! We'll be at each others' throats! I will not be held responsible!"

     "The crew want to meet you. Kaede was bragging all last week that she got to see your face in the Bresken docks. They're jealous."

     "I find it preposterous that there's not a _single_ other ship I could take!"

     "Nah, your boss is right." Doumeki traced an X over the tattoo of a pufferfish and some broken bones just under his left collarbone. "You need a Takifugu pirate ship to sail north. Those waters take you past the Kaizuka, the heart of the fleet. It's suicide to go without a black flag flying and a crew ready to kill for it, not just a feathered hat. Most hard pirates don't make port in the backyard of the Dimension Witch, in one of the biggest ninja countries on the map."

     "But for some reason _you_ do?!" Watanuki raged at him. "I assume because you're _just that much_ of an idiot?!"

     Doumeki shrugged. "Never had trouble I can't handle. Besides, my parents run the docks."

     Dropping his arms, Watanuki hissed, "Your parents run th-- Are you telling me your parents are _respectable business people_?!"

     "Never said they weren't."

     "You _said_ you inherited your boat from your notorious pirate grandfather!!"

     "Ship." Doumeki studied the empty shot glasses Watanuki had dropped on the table and apparently forgotten. "And Dad took over my grandmother's family business instead. Were these glasses for something?"

     "For something we will _not_ be drinking if I have to deal with _pirates_ in the morning!" his lover yelled, whisking the glasses away in a blur and thunder of slamming cabinet doors. " _Honestly!_ "

     Watanuki stayed at the counter with his back to the room, drumming his fingers on the counter, which Doumeki knew was a request Watanuki couldn't make come out of his mouth. His lover never turned his back on anything unless he wanted someone watching it. Doumeki liked to think he'd made it clear he'd do it without being asked, too. He slipped his arms around Watanuki's waist, resting his hands on the apron, right over his lover's trembling stomach, and kissed the back of his head long enough that it wasn't a kiss so much as a lean. Watanuki's narrow shoulders pushed against his chest as they both took a deep breath.

     "The mission..." he said, then swallowed a lot of nothing. "It's to take care of a place where ships are going down if they get close."

     "I'm pretty sure I know the spot," Doumeki answered, remembering a red mark that'd been growing on that bloodmap he'd picked up, the mark getting darker instead of fading like the marks usually did. Rumors flying about a ghost or a demon siren got a lot harder to shrug off when you could see the bloodstains of dead sailors soaking into an enchanted piece of paper.

     "So don't take your ship out to meet it if you don't want to go down, too! _You'll die_ , you nincompoop!"

     "I'll take my chances." And they could both hear what he wasn't saying. What Doumeki had promised a long time ago, despite Watanuki not wanting to hear it.

     "You don't have to worry about me," Watanuki muttered. "I'll be fine."

     Which Doumeki was fairly sure was the closest he'd ever hear to, _Thank you_.

     "Uh-huh. While we're at the docks, you can meet a disrespectable pirate's respectable parents. Only if you want."

     "Meeting your crew will be _quite_ momentous enough. I'll save meeting your family for some other time." Watanuki turned himself around in Doumeki's arms so they could see eye to eye, in at least the literal sense. "And for the record, I'm not saying that to maintain any illusion that we're not... _together_. I have made the concession that we _are_ together, and I'm not going back on that. Nor is it out of any kind of embarrassment that I don't have family of my own to introduce you to--"

     "You know I don't care--"

     "--It's just _because_."

     He brushed a kiss onto the corner of Watanuki's mouth, murmuring, "It's no problem. I'll check on the supply orders in the morning, then we'll go straight to the ship." Although, when Watanuki started kissing him deep like a drowning man gasping for breath, he wasn't in a mood to complain. The only complaining going on came from the alarms by the stove reminding them that dinner was still cooking.

     Watanuki sighed, looking back over his shoulder at the blaring even as his fingers played in hair on the back of Doumeki's head. "Shit."

     "I won't tell anyone if it burns a little."

     " _Bite your tongue_ , knave. Food _matters_!"

~//~

     "Look at these filets, and the rock salt!" Misaki gasped at Tamayo, who was helping her stow the provisions. This wasn't the kind of stuff people would usually order for a ship putting out to sea, although every last thing looked like it was packed well enough to last. Whoever'd changed their usual order didn't have any illusions that it was easy to keep food fresh at sea, they just had enough understanding to walk a tightrope between food that was excellent and food that would last. "And all the coffee beans are in jars with airtight seals! The captain's boyfriend must be coming after all! I can't believe it!"

     Tamayo cackled, hefting a crate of yuzu lemons on top of the crates of mixed oranges. "You're telling me you made him a, 'Welcome aboard,' lunch box without believing he'd actually be here? Which he better appreciate, by the way, or he'll answer to me, captain's man or not," she said with a fist to the air.

     "It could just be a rumor. It's not like anybody but the officers read the note Captain Doumeki left for Sai at the supply house. And even if he's coming, I'm a plain old ship's cook, Tamayo, and he's, like, an _award-winning chef_. I'll just be happy if he eats what I made!"

     She grasped her dream in her fists, looking out the porthole at the bustle on the rest of the ship, with the Fujisaki sisters shouting orders about moving their shot and powder, and Ringo yelling at Kotarou to swab the deck till it shone. Even Hatoko had an air of excitement in her perfect calm while she talked about officer stuff with Sai. Everyone wanted the ship to be at its best for the Captain's "popcorn vendor" boyfriend, and for her that meant cooking the best food she knew how to make! Misaki could barely imagine what it'd be like to have him say it was _good_!

     A hard pinch on her cheek broke her out of her daydream. Tamayo put her in a headlock and winked. "You're the best cook in the fleet, Misaki-cchi, and I'll never let you forget it! You know Captain Doumeki can barely stomach half a bite of what other ships' cooks make. That's why he always brings them on board here! Everybody knows, the _Queen Cassandra_ is a prize of a ship, first because we've got an actual doctor, and second because _you_ can cook food fit for royalty. Don't even think of calling yourself a _plain ship's cook_!"

     There was no time to argue, as much as she wanted to. Outside a cry went up from the top mast, and Ringo pulled the boatswain's call to her lips and piped a long, high note, then a longer, higher one. Misaki didn't wait for the next set of notes before she tore off her apron and grabbed her coat and hat. And, of course, the lunch box!

     "All hands on deck! They're here, Tamayo, they're here!"

     They fell into line with the rest of the crew, all arranged by rank with Tamayo, Kotarou, and the other swabs trailing off to her right, holding their mops and brushes as proudly as rifles. As Ringo piped the low-high-low tones of, "Officer on Deck", her mates hoisted a small boat up the side with Captain Doumeki, looking fearsome as always, and a tall, skinny, sort of twitchy but imperious man wearing a straw boater hat, lots of sunscreen, and even more black fishnet. That had to be him! He was really here!

     "Are we really supposed to act like we believe he's a popcorn vendor?" Kotarou whispered. "He even dresses like a cliché of a ninj--"

     Tamayo clapped both her hands over his mouth and hissed in his ear, " _Do not ruin this for us_."

     "Watanuki Kimihiro, this is Jounouchi Sai, First Mate," the Captain was saying up at the front of the line. The boyfriend had taken off his hat, bowing politely if not happily with it over his chest, so Sai returned the favor and Misaki joined everyone else on deck in taking their hats off their heads. Only the Captain was still wearing his. He was the Captain, after all. "My Boatswain, Seto Ringo, and Navigator, Kobayashi Hatoko..."

     Watanuki leaned over to look Hatoko in the eye, since she was half the height of everyone else. "How old are you, exactly? Are you quite sure it's safe for you to be here?"

     With a calm smile, always mature for her fourteen years, she shot back, "People have been asking me that since I was six! But do let me know if you need me to prove my worth in a fight. I'll be sure to ask Kaede to give you the best of care afterwards."

     The doctor standing next to Hatoko extended her hand with a smile just as bright as the navigator's. "We didn't have the chance for introductions the other week. Saitou Kaede, ship's surgeon. And please don't worry too much about Kobayashi. Nobody lasts long enough in a fight with her to take any _real_ damage."

     After she and the boyfriend, who was coughing and stammering, shook on it for a moment, Captain Doumeki pushed them along to where the Fujisakis were scowling at him. They didn't much care for ninjas. "My Master at Arms, Fujisaki Madoka, and her sister, Fujisaki Arisu is the ship's artillery engineer. Madoka, Arisu, meet Watanuki Kimihiro. While he's on the ship, he's a guest. Got it?"

     "Aye, aye, sir," they said together. They didn't sound like they liked it, but they'd obey the Captain, of course.

     Then Captain pointed his boyfriend at her -- her, Misaki! -- and said, "She's not technically an officer, but I figured you'd want to meet our cook. Watanuki, this is Suzuhara Misaki. In the galley, she's in command."

     She'd just been hoping for a chance to give him her lunch box, but she actually got an introduction?! This was amazing!

     "Ship's cook, hmm?" Watanuki asked, pursing his lips. Oh boy! He was judging her! Time to show him what she could do!

     Misaki held out her lunch box, although her smile wasn't as collected as Hatoko's. "It's nice to meet you! It's been such an inspiration whenever Captain Doumeki brings one of your packed lunches to the ship, I wanted to make you one in exchange! I hope you like it!"

     He took it studiously, taking note of every detail of how she packed the food in the box with a vaguely approving nod before he picked up a handroll of meat and relish in dried seaweed to try. Watanuki took a measured bite, not so big it was messy to chew, but big enough to get a bit of all the flavors in it, then made a thoughtful face for a moment after he swallowed.

     Turning to the Captain, Watanuki declared, " _Preposterous_! You must have hired some kind of ringer to assist me in cooking on this voyage. Well, you can't fool me, you scoundrel! She is _far_ too good to be working in a place like this. With proper training, this young lady could be a truly excellent chef!"

     Captain Doumeki was rolling his eyes, but Misaki could barely breathe any more than Kotarou could, who was starting to turn blue from Tamayo keeping his mouth shut. "T-traini--"

     " _Fine!_ " shouted the boyfriend, who dropped her handroll back in the box and closed it back up to eat later. "I relent! You have _twisted my arm_ , Miss Suzuhara. As long as I am on this ship _anyway_ , I will see to it that you receive a proper education in the culinary arts! At the very least, it will give me something to _do_ during what I'm sure will be interminable hours of boredom at sea! Now, we will speak no more of this." He turned his attention to Tamayo and Kotarou, who was struggling to get out of Tamayo's grip before he suffocated. "I feel like I know you from somewhere," Watanuki said with narrowed eyes to the blue-faced swab. "Have we met?"

     Kotarou shook his head so fast, Misaki was surprised it didn't fall off. He wasn't so tough when he was staring a ninja in the face.

     "No matter." Straightening up, Watanuki took a long, hard-eyed look at the whole crew. "I know this voyage won't be easy for any of us, but I'll do my best to behave myself as a gentleman, and I promise you, I'll pull my weight. I trust we shall all make the best of it."

     No one knew quite how to answer that except for the Captain. Deadeye Doumeki always knew what to do, pulling his lover toward the quarterdeck, saying, "All right, let's get you settled in," and calling to the crew, "To stations, ladies and gentlemen, and make ready to sail. The tide'll be rolling out at six bells, and we're rolling out with it."

     "Aye, aye, Captain," everyone yelled back, including Kotarou, who could take a breath once Tamayo was at attention and saluting.

     "You heard the Captain," Sai bellowed once he was below. "Handsomely now!"

     Misaki could hardly keep from squealing in delight while she ran to the galley. A real life ninja chef, who cooked for the Dimension Witch herself, training _her_! What a time to be alive!


End file.
